Glass Splinters and Roses
by LucyCrewe11
Summary: Based on Hans Christian Andersen's "The Snow Queen." Told from Gerda's point of view. Gerda/Kay On Hiatus
1. Prologue

**AN: I wrote this a while back and showed it to a very trusted friend of mine who said it was some of my best work. Other than my friend, no one has ever seen this story before. But I was encoraged to post it as a fairytale fanfic because it's based off of "The Snow Queen" So here it is. I have more if anyone likes it. I haven't finished the whole story yet, but I have a couple more chapters. I'm just waiting to see if anyone likes it before posting them.**

Glass Splinters And Roses

(Or What Becomes of Shattered Mirrors)

Based on H.C. Anderson's original fairytale, "The Snow queen"

Prologue

It is a bitterly cold day. I can already tell. I have just woken up this morning, catching sight of the grayish light falling in through the fogged up window. As a little girl I loathed days like this. The fogged windows blocked my view and made me cross. It is strange that I would become so bad-tempered over losing that view. For it wasn't much of one. I could see only the window boxes, mine and that of the house next door, and not much else. But oh, how vexed and unmanageable it made me. Back in those days when I thought I would be a little girl for ever. I thought nothing would ever change. However such a day was not a total waste, for there was one thing I could do that I could enjoy. I could heat up pennies on the stove and press them against the frozen windowpanes. They did make the nicest peep holes. And little Kay, my dearest friend in all the world would be next door doing the same. It's a little silly now that I think of it, how much in amused us to look at each other through our frozen windows when easily, either of us could have gone over and seen the other. But for some reason on those days (And those days only) we preferred the peep holes.

I sigh and roll over. Perhaps it will snow. As I roll, I bang into my husband who lets out a moan.

"Gerda!" He says sharply. "I'm trying to get some sleep. It's my day off."

"Then stay off my side." I laugh.

"It's you that's on my side." He smiles and starts to open his eyes as he speaks. He looks pleased to see me. He always does in the morning. As if he was secretly worried I wouldn't be there.

It is a hard fear for most people to understand. After all, we were one of the most agreeable couples you'd ever be likely to meet. We rarely fought. And when we did it seldom lasted till the end of the day. Yet he lives with this fear of waking up to find me gone. Although, it ought to be me that fears losing him after all I was the one left behind all those years ago. But I don't have that fear I just know he will be there when I get up in the morning as surely as I know the sun will rise. Once saved always saved is the way I think of him. Wishful thinking or not, to me it is true.

It is he who has the icy nightmares and awakens shivering from them. Often, he doesn't fully awaken. He is half-awake and shaking all over. On such nights, I gently lean over and stroke his hair. "Shh." I whisper. "It's all right."

Most times he falls back asleep but a much more peaceful one. Other times when the nightmares are at their worse, He mumbles. "Gerda? Where's Gerda?"

"I'm right here." I say softly.

His lips tremble and I know what he is going to say before he says it.

"Shh." I repeat myself. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

In the mornings, glad though he is to see me, he doesn't remember his nightmares or the fact that I comforted him through them. Sometimes, I do wonder that if in his waking hours he has forgotten completely. That he has forgotten our adventure from long ago. The one we started separately but ended together. Surely he must remember for was very nearly our whole childhood. No one expected us back. We'd both been pronounced dead. I still recall the shock that struck me when I spotted my name engraved on a smooth marble stone under that tree.

_In loving memory_

_of Little Gerda Rostilla_

_only Child of the Rostilla family_

_Believed dead after disappearing one winter years ago_

_may she rest in peace._

But I wasn't dead. Still it was difficult to convince others that I was really alive. Grandmother was willing enough to believe that it was really me. She said that she saw the little girl she used to care for looking out of my eyes. And the young man I'd brought back with me certainly looked enough like Kay. But few others believed. Even mother and Father refused to believe me. They said I was a pretender and that their daughter had died less than one year after her friend Kay did.

"But he's here!" I cried grabbing Kay's arm. "Can't you tell it's him? Can't you tell it's me?"

"I can." Grandmother said, embracing us for the billionth time since we'd shown up.

"Mother!" My father scolded. "your old eyes play tricks on you!"

"No." She said calmly. "It is your young cynical eyes that play the tricks." She held Kay and I even closer now. "You can't even recognize your own daughter."

I start to get up. No use spending the whole day in bed. I reach for my dressing gown which hangs on the wooden bedpost.

"Where are you going?" My husband asks.

I sigh as I stand up and tie the dressing gown around myself. "I'm getting up. It must be pretty late by now. We slept in." I turn around fling the almost translucent silk curtains open. Not that it makes much of a difference in the lighting anyway. It's still the same murky gray light as it was before.

My husband moans. "I don't wanna get up. It's my day off." He pulls a pillow over his head. "I told you already."

I nod and walk out the door down to the kitchen. I know he'll feel differently about spending the whole day in bed when he smells breakfast being made. I walk over to the sink. Glancing out I can see the Roses in the window box. They haven't bloomed yet. They are still green in fact. In my mind's eye I see them chance. They turn red and burst into full bloom. I watch on as the window box turns into a bush on a roof top. I see myself as a little girl dressed in pretty clothing that makes me look rather like a large doll. I sit there beside Kay who suddenly screams out. "Ow! My eye! Something has stuck my eye!"

Oh how it all comes back. The beginning of the story. My story. Kay's story. I didn't know about the real beginning back then. I didn't know about that dreadful hobgoblin that a few weeks before had been flying about in the air so high above us, so many miles away from us. Waving his mirror too and fro.

I wasn't one of those unfortunate souls who heard his chilling crackles of laughter as he glimpsed at the twisted reflection in the mirror. But I know it must have been a repulsive sound indeed. It was so bad in fact that some timid old women believed that it was not a hobgoblin at all. But the devil himself. Carrying the mirror up to the heavens so that he might laugh at god and the angels. The laughter was just that distressing.

All that soul-numbing laughter shook the mirror so much that it slipped falling down the earth and shattering. I believe that it fell upon the icy, snow covered parts of the world. For how else could The snow queen have gotten involved? It may have been her own chilly wind that send the splinters of glass from there to everywhere else.

Now you will hear a tale of a childhood spent on the search. Of an unbreakable friendship. Of Glass Splinters and Roses. This is what truly becomes of shattered mirrors.

**AN: Please review. I really want to know if anyone likes this or not. **


	2. a girl named Gerda and a boy named Kay

**AN: I hope you like it!**

_Part one: A little girl named Gerda and a little boy named Kay_

It was a glorious summer. Hot but with light winds that kept the air cool enough to be comfortable in. Boots had been abandon months ago in favor of bare feet or light sandals. It was funny to think that in a few more months when the cold and the snow came people going about in bare feet would be considered mad and be hurled in a nut house as likely as not.

Back in those days, our town was a fairly poor town with lots of small houses packed in together in tight rows. Homes were so close that everyone lived pretty much on top of everyone else. It wasn't too bad. At least I didn't think so. After all, it did mean you never got lonely for there was always someone about to speak with. And of course it meant that dear little Kay was so close that when the windows were open we could hear each other with out even having to shout. There was only one downside as far as I could see, We didn't have room for a garden. But I barely noticed that loss at all for nearly everyone had a small garden-like room on the roofs of their houses.

In the roof of my home there were two rose bushes and a few sweet pea plants. It was up there that Kay and I often played in the summer. There was never a more contented child than I on such days. For as a child I'd wanted little else but to sit up there by the rose bushes playing with my best friend.

Heat may have rise but the roof was more fun than any shady spot down below. It isn't easy to understand, I know. So I will stop trying to explain what I loved so about the summer days spend on my roof and move on. I will leave it at that.

"Gerda look at that!" Kay said leaning over the edge of the roof, Pointing at something with his index finger.

"Grandmother says you shouldn't lean like that, Kay." I told him. All the same I couldn't help going over to the edge myself and leaning over. Something below was catching the light.

"What is that thing?" I asked. I figured Kay would know. He was a bit older than I was and as a child I assumed that meant he knew everything.

I think he liked me thinking he was the smartest person around. At any rate he did much to encourage me to think like that. He always seemed to have an answer for everything. Sometimes it was the right one, often it wasn't. but I never failed to believe him. Every now and then he would come up with some bogus fact to tease me but somehow his mother always found out and boxed his ears, telling him that nice boys didn't tell falsehoods to sweet harmless little girls.

"It looks like part of a mirror." Kay said.

I yawned. The glittering object no longer seemed interesting now that it was identified. Kay let out a tiny yelp and took a step back.

"What?" I asked. "What's the matter?"

"The little mirror down there." He gasped. "the reflection in it is dreadful. The sky above it is blue and clear but in the mirror it's gray and cloudy."

"Really?" I asked, my intrest returning now that the object was out of the ordinary again. "Lemme see." I leaned to peer down at it but before I could get a good look, I heard Kay's mother shouting at us through the window.

"Children, if you don't say away from the edge, I wont let you play up there anymore." She told us sharply as she dumped old, torn filled water out of a flower pot.

Glumly we walked away from the edge.

"Did you see it?" Kay asked me, eager to talk about it.

"The reflection? No. I didn't get a good look." I explained.

"Maybe I should go down and get it." Kay walked down through the house and out to the street. I wanted to lean over just once more to see if he had found it. but I didn't dare. Any of the grown ups might see me.

He ran up to me with the little mirror. It wasn't a full mirror it was a big chunk of a one. (And yes if you are wondering it was indeed one of the larger chunks of the hobgoblin's mirror) It was barely the size of my little fist. I reached for it carefully so as not to cut my self with the sharp ends of it and when I looked at the reflection, I frowned. The sky _was _gray in the mirror. I turned it until it faced the roses. In the mirror the pretty roses looked worm eaten and wilted.

"I don't like it." said, setting it down besides me. "I don't ever want to look at it again."

"Well what do you want to do?' Kay asked bored with the silly mirror piece by now.

"I don't know." I didn't care.

"Let's play chess." he suggested.

"I don't know how." I pouted. He knew that already. I didn't want to do something I didn't know how to do.

"You can learn." he said stubornly as he stood up and walked back into the house to get the chess board.

No summer lasts forever. And though I put off learning things (With the exception of chess) and moved as slowly as humanly possible time still refused to stop for me. And Winter, snowy, cold, pointless, dull, long, winter took over our beautiful summer. It turned our roses brown before killing them. And filled our roof with so much snow that there was no room for us up there.

Now we sat with grandmother who told us stories and tried her best to make the winter seem like it wasn't so bad.

"Really, the snow _is_ lovely isn't it?" She said cheerfully.

Pretty though it was, I had no desire to look out the window at it. I knew what a snow storm looked like. And it was no where near as appealing as pretty things you could see in the summer.

"They look like little bees flying about." Kay commented as he looked out the window. His nose was pressed against the glass fogging it up.

That made me want to look at the snow. I'd never thought if it like that. I nudged Kay out of the way so I could have a look.

"Hey!" He cried. "I was here first!"

"I just want to see." I said wiping away the fog his breath had created on the window, leaving finger prints all over the glass. Kay sighed and leaned in only a little bit so we could both look at the snowflakes at the same time.

"They do look like little white bees." I laughed, clapping my small chubby hands together. "How funny!"

Kay looked quite thoughtful. A look so strange on such a young boy. I glanced up into his face wondering what he was thinking about.

"What do you want to know, Kay?" Grandmother asked.

"What makes you think I want to know something?" He asked sounding impressed.

"You always think hard when you don't know something and don't want to ask." Grandmother teased. "You've always been a little know-it-all."

Kay shrugged. "I was just wondering if they had a queen just like the real bees do."

"They do have one." Grandmother told him. "She's called the Snow Queen."

"She must be one huge snowflake." I tired to imagine what she would look like.

Grandmother giggled as though she was a small girl. "Bless you child." she smiled at me. "For having such a simple thought."

I knew she meant well but I still felt a bit offended. Just a bit though, for deep down I didn't care much if I was simple-minded for I figured Kay would always be there knowing everything for me. I might never have to learn a single thing myself. How comforting I found that thought. While other girls had to study and work hard to gain knowledge, all I ever had to do was ask Kay.

"Well if she's not a giant snowflake then what is she?" Kay wanted to know.

Had he thought her to be a giant snowflake too? If so, then it couldn't possibly be as simple at thought as grandmother said, for Kay never had a "Simple Thought" in all his life.

Grandmother eased into her little brown rocking chair that had belonged to her mother, my great grandmother, years and years ago. She took off her glasses and set them down. I knew that meant she was about to tell a story.

Kay and I were nearly bursting with excitement. We loved grandmother's stories. They were always interesting, pretty, cleaver, and never ever clubbed you over the head with an obvious moral. We sat down cross-led on the woven straw rugs right below the chair and looked up at her, our eyes big as dinner plates. I suppose we must have looked quite endearing because for a moment her story face vanished and her "Aren't my little darlings the sweetest?" face replaced it.

Kay let out a little cough and Grandmother's expression changed back. I heard a small gurgle by my feet and felt a slight pressure on my left leg. Father's cat was climbing into my lap. Even the cat loved grandmother's stories.

"In a place far, far away..." Grandmother started. "There is an ice castle that is cold and stony gray. No blue birds come in the day. Only the snowy white birds come to stay. And no children come to play. And in the castle lives the Snow queen."

"Ohhh!" I gasped. The story was already taking over me. I could see the castle perfectly in my mind's eye. Even the parts grandmother didn't tell us about. In my mind it had three clear towers of solid ice sticking out of the center of it, and a white fox keeping watch at the door.

I wonder what Kay was seeing in his mind at that moment but I don't ask him that. And I wont, not now, not ever. It might bring back bad memories of what happened to him. I wouldn't risk that.

"The Snow Queen looks like a pale icy maiden in a long thick white gown made of fur." Grandmother continued the story.

"What kind of fur?" I asked.

"I'll bet Polar bear fur, cuz it's the only fur that would be the right shade of white." Kay told me. "I am right aren't I, grandmother?"

I don't think Grandmother really knew the answer but she was more than willing to let Kay have this one. "Yes Kay, Polar bear fur...um, why not?" Grandmother chuckled.

After the story was over, Grandmother stood up and put her glasses back on. She looked out the window. "My what a storm! It's getting quite bad." She looked at Kay. "I don't want you walking back home in this weather. Even if it is right next door." she told him. "I don't think Hubert and Gussie are going to attempt to get back here tonight."

Hubert and Gussie were my mom and dad. "They'll be okay though right?" I asked frightened of losing my parents in the dreadful storm.

"They'll be just fine, Gerda." Grandmother assured me. "As I was saying I think Kay should sleep over tonight."

"Do I have to sleep on the sofa?" Kay frowned. I don't blame him. our sofa wasn't even all that nice to sit on, never mind sleep on. It was sort of lumpy. If we were richer we would have brought a new one but that wasn't an option for our family at that time.

Grandmother shook her head. "No dear, that's barely suitable for the cat's bed." She took our hands and let us upstairs to my room. It was a nice warm little room with a few toys here and there. Nothing fancy or grand but it was homey and I liked it. Grandmother opened a the little wooden door closet door and took out an extra pillow and gave it to Kay.

Then she tucked us both in tightly. "Good night my sweets." She whispered giving us each a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm not sleepy." Yawned Kay. "Can't I stay up a little later?"

"You are sleepy." Grandmother shook her head in amusement. She saw Kay as more of a grandchild then a friend of the family. You just tell by the look in her cheerful old eyes.

"No, I'm n..." Kay feel asleep while he was talking. "I don't like tea." he muttered already in his dreams.

I yawned and feel asleep too. Hours later, I was awakened by the loudest wind I'd ever heard in my life. It rattled the window. I let out a whimper and prayed it would pass. It didn't, it just got even louder. So loud that Kay who was a very deep sleeper, awoke and sat up.

"I'm scared." I whispered looking at the window as it shook. It rattled so violently that the latch started to move up.

"It's alright Gerda." Kay said putting his arm around my shoulder. "It's only wind, it can't hurt us."

"But what if it's...her?" I asked my eyes growing wider by the second.

"Who?" Kay asked without taking his eyes off the still vibrating window. "The Snow Queen?"

"Yes." I whispered. "What if she's coming to get us and lock us in ice towers so that we never see summer again?"

"So what? If it's her, she's out there and we're in here." Kay reassured me.

"Can she get in here?" I asked. "What if she can? What do we do then?" I drew my body closer to his.

Kay laughed bravely. "Just let her try, I'd race downstairs and she'd have to chase me then I'd melt her on the stove and bye-bye Snow queen."

I felt better. Kay really did have an answer for everything. I nodded, freed myself from Kay's grip and laid back down on the bed. I wasn't scared anymore. Let the wicked creature's winds bang open the window. Let her even try the door if she liked. What good would it do? Kay would melt her. If she was smart, she'd know better than to try and come in this room. I expected Kay to lay back down too. But he didn't he stood up and walked to the window (Which was still shaking).

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I just want to see." He said standing next to the window and turning to look out though the peephole still left from the last time I'd pressed a heated penny on it. The shaking managed to lift the lock up. The window flew open knocking Kay backwards to the floor."

"Kay!" I cried. I jumped out of bed and help him. He wasn't moving. Was he okay? Was he hurt? My short little legs ran as fast as the could. I looked down at him. His pupils were starting out the open window and there was a look of horror and amazement on his face. His eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. And his mouth hung open.

"What is it?" I asked. If I'd looked out the window myself rather than at Kay's eyes I might have seen for myself. But I never thought of that because I believed that Kay would never lie to me.

"It _was_ her wasn't it?" I could tell from the look on his face. He'd gone white. Both he and I had pale complexions naturally but we didn't naturally match clean sheets. Something had truly frightened him. She had frightened him. She had been here after all. I hated her. I barely knew anything about her but any creature cold and cruel enough to scare children was worthy of hatred.

"N-n-n-o-o." Kay stuttered (He'd never stuttered before. He'd never been shy or nervous, always brave). "It was a b-b-b-big w-w-w-white b-b-bird."

I took his hand and help him up. But I couldn't help but think that this was the first lie he'd ever told me. That this was the first time in my life that I didn't believe every word coming out of his mouth as thought it was coming from the burning bush. Why couldn't he just tell me what he saw? Was it that scary? Was she that awful? At any rate what did it matter, it was over. The wind had passed and so had most of the storm. The rest of the night was fairly peaceful, but neither of us feel back asleep that night.

Kay's eyes were still too wide for his eye lids to close over. His fists held on to the blankets a little too tightly. and his stare was focused blankly at the ceiling. I laid awake thinking about how Kay had been scared. He wasn't invincible like I'd always thought. Up until that night, I'd always seen him as a saint. A brave know everything that never got scared. but he wasn't that at all. He was just a little kid, like me. And that thought frightened me. For it meant that maybe some day I would have to face up to the world with out perfect help. That I might need to know something after all. And if I really was simple minded, I might be on my own.

For the next few weeks, Kay and I were very quiet. We barely said more than three words per day to the people around us. We didn't speak to each other at all. A nod here and there was all we needed. We didn't need to say what we were thinking. We both knew already. Kay knew that I knew that he'd seen The Snow Queen and lied about it and that was all that was on my mind. And I knew his mind was still focused on his own fears that night had given him.

We were so quiet than our parents worried that we might be ill. "Do you suppose everything is alright Gussie?" My father said in a weary voice.

"They're so quiet these days." She sighed. "I do wonder if everything is alright."

"Both of you stop worrying." My grandmother walked in the room. "Children don't like to be indoors for ever. They'll be good as new when spring rolls around. Just you wait and see."

And she was right. The day the snow began to melt and the air began to warm up, we began talking again.

"She did look like a white bird when she took off." Kay told me. "I didn't really lie."

I was startled not having heard his voice for so long, I'd forgotten how much I'd liked it. I never knew how much I missed it. I wondered if he'd missed my voice too.

"It's good to hear your voice." I smiled at him.

"Let's not talk about her ever again." Kay suggested. "Anyways, it's spring she wont be around for a long long time."

"Let's go to the roof and play." I grabbed his hand. "This winter was the longest yet. I think I forgotten what it looks like up there."

We walked up to the roof and sat down by the rose bush. No big red roses yet but the little green buds offered hope.

"Oh my." I blinked at the bright sun coming out from the clouds. "It has been forever. Maybe this past winter was a thousand days long."

"Winter is always the same length of time." Kay pointed out, as he played with a little leaf.

"Says who?" I demanded. "You don't know everything!" It was the second time I'd ever questioned some fact he'd told me, but this time it was out loud.

Kay's mouth dropped open. He was surprised at me. Then he quickly closed his mouth and it formed a smirk. "Go ask grandmother if you don't believe me." he said smugly. "Ask her if winter isn't always the same amount of time every single year."

"Fine, I will." I marched right back into the house. When I came out a few minutes later, Kay was grinning smugly at me.

"So?" He asked with an eye brow raised.

"Apparently you do know everything." I huffed. I crossed my arms, sat down and sulked. Kay must have felt sorry for me because at snack time he gave me his cookie to eat in addition to my own.

Summer came, the roses bloomed, and Kay and I became perfectly cheerful once more. I'd long forgotten the snow queen by then and all of winter seemed like a bad dream that had come to an end. The hot summer days were the morning after and I couldn't ask for a better one.

On one summer day, mother took Kay and I shopping. It was a rare treat for as I said before we were quite poor and didn't have much money for new things. As it turned out, Grandmother had decided that we needed some new books and toys to amuse ourselves with and had secretly been saving up a little bit of her money for two years then given the money to mother on the condition that the money was spent on us.

It wasn't a large sum of money. We'd been able to buy a nice new picture book (To share), two ice cream cones, and two small wooden spinning tops. There was still some money left but mother took that into another store and came out with a box.

"What's in the box, mother?" I asked.

"You'll see later on, Gerda." She told me.

I glanced at the bright red ribbon that held the box closed. "May I keep the ribbon after the box is opened?"

"Yes Gerda you may." Mother agreed sucking in her cheeks. Clearly she wanted me to be quiet. "Now we must go on home, your father is expecting us back soon."

Later that afternoon, Kay I where looking at our picture book. The tower clock was just striking five. _Dong._

"Ow!" Kay screamed. "Something has struck my eye." _Dong. Dong._

He said it was his eye that hurt but it was his heart that he put his hand to.

I threw my arms around his neck and looked carefully into his eyes. He blinked and blinked but I could see nothing in them. _Dong._

"I think it's gone now." Kay said taking a deep breath. "I can't feel it anymore."

_Dong._

"Let go of me, Gerda!" He jumped away from me. Then he looked at my face and frowned. "You do look so ugly when you cry. Do stop it. There's nothing the matter with me. Just look!"

I wasn't crying but I as too shocked to point this out. He didn't seem like himself. What was wrong with him? "Are you sure you're alrig-" I started. Then I saw what Kay was doing. He was pulling apart the roses on the bush. Tearing them to shreds. Not one little petal was safe.

"Kay!" I shrieked, stamping my feet in anger. "What are you doing! Stop it! Stop it now!"

He didn't stop he grabbed the second to last rose and began to tear it as he had the other ones. "They're ugly roses, Gerda." He said as he ripped apart the last petal. "All worm eaten and limb. I can't bear to look at them anymore."

Why did that sound so familiar? I didn't have time to think about it. I had to save the last rose. I jumped in front of it so that he couldn't reach it.

"Get out of the way!" He shouted.

"No!" I screamed at him. "Leave my roses alone!"

"Your roses?" He glared at me.

"Yes, my house, my roof, my bush, my roses!" I stomped my foot and glared at him. I didn't care how selfish it sounded. I just needed to make him stop.

"I thought we shared everything." He said flatly.

"Not when you act like this we don't." I told him. "I wont let you ruin the only rose left."

He stomped his feet, huffed, then raced down the stairs and over to his own house. Fine! If that was how he wanted it. I didn't care! Okay, I did. Which is why I burst into tears before going back inside. I couldn't be on the roof without thinking about Kay.

"Why are you crying dear?" Grandmother asked me sweetly, her voice full of concern.

"I've had a fight with Kay." I told her as I wiped the tears out of my eyes.

"There, there." she said kindly. "It'll be all better soon, you're best friends you'll both be over it soon enough." She reached for something on the table behind her. "But in the meantime, this should cheer you up." she pulled out the box with the red ribbon that mother had brought.

I wiped my tears and slowly pulled away the ribbon before curling my shaky fingers on the top of the box. Every so slowly, I opened it. Inside there was a pair of red furr-trimed winter-shoes.

"It's for the winter." Grandmother explained. "You always seem so glum that time of year and since you like pretty shoes, you'll have something too look forward to each winter until you out grow them."

"They're beautiful." I said giving Grandmother a big hug. Forgetting about the fight Kay'd just started with me, I added. "I can't wait to go and show them to Kay."

"Why don't you go on over now?" Grandmother offered. "It's still daylight out and it's right next door."

I grabbed the box, gave Grandmother a kiss on the cheek then raced next door. "Kay! Kay!' I called happily as I opened the door.

Before I could find Kay, his mother came and stood in front of me. "Sorry Gerda, no visitors and no desserts." She assumed the box has some sort of baked treats in it. "Kay's in big trouble for talking back and with his mouth full no less all through dinner."

"Oh." my smiled faded. "Will you tell him I came by though?"

"If he apologizes for hurling his vegetables at the wall and saying they looked undercooked and spoiled, then yes I'll tell him." She lead me to the door. "Good bye, Gerda." then she shut the door in my face.

His mother always make the best vegetables they always looked good. But he saw them as undercooked and spoiled just like how he'd seen those roses as ugly. Why was this all so familiar? I couldn't put my finger on it and it was driving me crazy.

The rest of summer was lousy. Kay was never allowed to play because he was always in trouble. He did all sorts of things that children shouldn't do. He said horrible things about the food he ate, the gifts people gave him, and he never saw the pretty side of things anymore. Worst of all he started mimicking whatever was odd or unpleasant about people.

It started when Grandmother moved her rocking chair to the roof one evening to tell us stories. She set down her glasses and Kay got up behind her, put them on and mimicked every move she made. At first I laughed but then when Grandmother telling the stories and he started cutting in with "But-" or "That lame-" or "I don't think-" every three words, I stopped laughing and frowned at him. He was become a very rude little boy indeed. And I was growing afraid that mother might say that I wasn't allowed to play with him anymore. But when I told him what I was worried about, he only said, "I don't care."

Soon, he was like that with everyone. He didn't care about anything. That is until winter rolled around. Then he changed but not for the better. He stopped mimicking people and became quieter and while that might have pleased the adults, it worried me. I used to see him sitting in a pile of snow, nearly blue with cold gazing though a magnifying glass at the flakes on his jacket.

"Look in the glass, Gerda." Kay said in the first kind tone he'd used with me in a while. "They are much more perfect than real flowers if only they didn't melt."

"Please go inside, Kay." I begged him. "It's too cold, you'll freeze to death out here."

"If it's too cold for you, then you are free to go in, but I feel fine." Kay said.

"Well, if you must stay outside, then let's run around and play so you don't get too cold." I suggested.

"Gerda, I don't want to play with you." He stood up and dropped his looking glass and picked up his little sled. "I'm going to the market to play with the other boys. They are much more suitable company for me,"

"Since when?" I wanted to know. We'd always played together. He'd never wanted to play with other boys before. I felt betrayed. I hated those other boys. How dare they rob me of my only playmate. And I was angry with Kay. How would he have liked it if I'd said that I'd rather play with the other girls? He wouldn't have liked it one bit I'll bet. I would have never done that. I was devoted to him.

"Since always." Kay started walking away.

"Well if that's how you feel, then I don't want to play with you ever again!" I shouted at him. "You are a horrid, rotten, no good, mean, little pig!" I kicked snow at him.

He turned around and shook his head at me. "I don't care."

"Good!" I shouted. "Have fun with the other boys then!"

"I will!" He called over his shoulder.

I couldn't just watch him leave. "Kay wait!" I called.

"What?" He stopped walking and turned to face me. "Make it fast."

"I'm sorry." I said. I didn't want to be angry with him a moment longer. "I'm sorry for everything I said, lets be friends again."

He pretended to think it over. "Um, no." He said before running away laughing.

"But-" I called after him. This time he didn't stop and he didn't hear a word I had to say. All I could hear of him were his boots creaking as he ran off.

That night I barely slept a wink. All night my mind was on how to get Kay to like me again. I'd offer him the best of my toys. Or I'd let him beat me at whatever game we decided to play. Or I'd agree to let him spend half his playtime with the other boys so long as he didn't forget about me. I'd do anything he wanted if only, he would like me again.

In the morning, I raced to Kay's house to find his mother weeping. His father's arm was around her and people where saying how sorry they were for their lost. My parents where there too. My mother was crying. Grandmother was wailing and saying things like, "He was such a sweet boy."

I ran into Grandmother's arms. She held me tightly and sobbed some more. "Where's Kay, Grandmother?" I asked looking up at her. She didn't answer she only cried some more.

My father looked up at me sadly and shook his head. "We don't know Gerda, but you must be prepared for the worst. he might be long gone."

I didn't understand. Was Kay playing hide and seek and people couldn't find him? I knew how that felt he was very good at that game. But these people didn't seem like the playing type. After an hour of trying to get an answer out of everyone, I gave up and went to the market to ask the boys.

"Where'd Kay go?" I asked a short chubby boy with freckles.

"We dared him to tie his sled to this big white sleigh that was passing by. And he did." the boy told me. "and the driver drove out of town. That was the last I saw of him."

"Then he really is gone!" I cried. I wept a great deal. For days on end I was the most miserable person in the world. That was until the dark winter faded bringing with it spring and a surprising new hope.

**AN: Please, please review...I'm begging you. **


	3. Rivers and talking Roses

**AN: I received a review that said the last chapter was too long for one chapter, I hope this one does not overwelm as much. **

_Across the great river_

It was the first (Or was it the second?) day of Spring? I didn't keep count anymore. Spring led to summer and I didn't actually want summer if Kay wasn't there to share it with me. If he was lost or dead or worse, I'd rather have had the same horrid fate as him than spend a summer with out my dear playmate.

One thing I didn't really understand then was why he never came back. I was too young to truly know what "Dead" meant. All I knew was that people who were said to be "Dead" never came home. I didn't understand why. Where they lost? Didn't they care about the people that wept for them? Did something hold them back? Yes, I decided. It had to be that. For the people I'd known that were "Dead" wouldn't want their families sad. There was a little girl called, Ella would used to live in our town. Everyone said she was the sweetest girl alive. Then one day, she was dead. The "Sweetest girl alive" wouldn't just let everyone cry if it could be helped. She'd come back if it was allowed.

And so would Kay. Something had to be keeping him prisoner otherwise he'd come home. Wouldn't he? He wouldn't. He hated me. He didn't want to be my friend anymore. But what if that wasn't true? What if he really did care about me. What if I was wrong? What if it was some sort of test? Or misunderstanding? I wondered if I would ever know for sure.

I walked slowly into the kitchen. Grandmother and mother were talking. They didn't know I was there.

"She needs to make some friends." Said mother as she rubbed her forehead with her index finger and thumb. "Gerda is just going to wither away to nothing sitting around all alone all the time. I know she misses Kay but pulling away from the world wont make things any better."

"The two were joined at the hip, Gussie." Grandmother told her. "You can't expect the wound to heal so quickly."

"But I can't bear to see her like this day in and day out!" cried mother.

"You don't have a choice dear." Grandmother sighed. "unless you can make her forget all about her playmate's unfortunate end, then I'm afraid you'll have to put up with her unhappiness for a while."

"I do wonder how he went." said mother. "Not even a body to burry."

"All we know is that he must have gone across the great river." Grandmother started boiling tea on the stove.

If I'd been a very little bit older I might have understood that Grandmother was speaking in metaphors. I would have known that the river she was speaking of was not real. That I couldn't get there. But If I had been older I would have known what "Dead" meant and wouldn't have started on my journey even if I had thought the river literal. But standing there, filled suddenly with more hope than I knew what to do with, I raced to my bedroom. In a flash, I lifted up the covers so that I could see under the bed and reached for the long cardboard box hidden there.

In it were my beautiful new red winter-shoes. Kay hadn't seen them yet. After that first attempt to show them to him, I'd given up. I wore my old, fairly ugly winter-shoes rather than wear the beautiful ones. I don't know why for sure but as a child it had made more sense to be to do so. It was sort of like I wanted my shoes to match my life. When Kay and I were friends I would have proudly put on beautiful shoes. But when he'd changed and our friendship seemed to be fading, what point was there to wearing pretty things on my feet? And of course after he'd disappeared I'd never wanted to see a pretty thing again. Not even my lovely shoes. Not even a single beautiful rose.

Now though, with my new hope, I clutched the box. certain that they would be enough to buy back my playmate. I didn't know how long I'd be gone for. After all, I had to walk until I came to the river. The river wasn't very near the town. The only river I knew of was two miles from the town gate. That was where I would go. It was the farthest I'd ever gone on my own and two miles seemed to me like two million miles. So I decided I simply had to go say goodbye to the roof top.

I stood next the half-bloomed rose bush. The roses weren't big and red yet. Some had turned red but were still closed. The rest were green as grass. But in the corner of the bush, I noticed something strange. One rose _was _in full bloom. It was in the same spot as the one I'd managed to save from Kay's furry last summer. It was the most beautiful rose I'd ever seen before. leaned towards it and kissed it's petals. Then I started to weep.

"Kay is dead and gone forever isn't he?" I whispered softly to the rose. "No matter what I do it shall be in vain, wont it?"

The petals on the rose moved a very little bit and I heard a little voice coming from the rose itself. "I don't believe a word of it." The rose said.

"So my hope is not in vain dear rose?" A smile started to form on my face.

The rose did not answer. Perhaps It was shy. I kissed it's petals one last time. "For reassuring me that I'm about to do the right thing." I whispered to my rose.

I turned to leave. "Gerda!" The rose called me.

I spun around. "What is it?"

"Don't forget your mirror piece!" The rose waved itself in the direction of the small sliver object from two summers ago.

"I don't like it." I explained quickly, eager to set off.

"But it reminds you of Kay, does it not?" The rose said in such a meek little voice that I thought for a moment I was speaking to another child such as myself rather than a flower.

"You are right dear rose." I walked over to it. Taking care not to drop it, I gently picked it up. I hadn't meant to, but by mistake I waved it in the direction of the rose. In the mirror it was no long a lovely red rose in full bloom but an ugly worm-eaten thing. Suddenly it struck me what was wrong with Kay.

"Part of this mirror must have gotten into his eye!" I exclaimed. "He doesn't hate me but he could only see my ugly side just as see this dear little flower as ugly when I look into it." It came flooding in faster in faster. "And the vegetables! He couldn't see how good they were! that's why he threw them. He isn't bad at all."

I turned back to the rose. "Thank you ever so much. With out you I would never have been this sure that Kay wants me to come and save him from the river."

"When will you leave little Gerda?" The rose asked me.

"Oh right away!" I said as I put the mirror in the shoe box. "I must go to the river at one. Do you suppose the river was good enough to wash the speck of mirror from his eye?"

"Sorry, I'm just a little rose." The rose said almost giggling as it spoke. "I don't know a thing about rivers. But I would assume it would take a extraordinary sort of water to wash away an ugly view from a person's eyes just as it took an extraordinary mirror to start the whole mess."

"I'm afraid I don't know quite what you mean dear rose." I confessed.

"Some day you will understand." the rose assured me.

"Goodbye." I lifted one hand free from under the cardboard box and waved to the rose.

"Farwell." It seemed to call back.

I did so want to say goodbye to my mother, father, and grandmother before I left but I didn't want to risk them stopping me. Nothing would stop me now. All the same, I couldn't bare leaving grandmother with out some sort of goodbye. The house was quite. Father was out and Mother must have gone out while I was on the roof. Where was grandmother? I didn't see her until I crept into her room. There she was asleep on the bed. I knew she must have missed Kay almost as much as I did. I gently kissed her on the cheek.

"Goodbye Grandmother." I said. A few tears fell from my eyes and landed on her pillow.

At last when I was out of the house I had to stay out of sight and take the back roads to the gates of the town. Then I walked the two long miles to the river and stood at it's bank.

"Is it true that you have taken my little play-mate?" I asked the river.

There was no answer. Oh dear. I didn't seem to be very interested in speaking with me. But I had to make it see reason. To make it give Kay back. His family needed him. Grandmother needed him. I needed him. I loved him.

Slowly, not with out some sadness, I opened the cardboard box. I picked up one of the red winter-shoes. "Now look here, river." I said, holding the boot up high. "Do you see this shoe? Can you see how lovely it is? Can you see the pretty fur lining?" I asked.

I looked down at the waves they seemed to almost like they were nodding to me. Yes! It was working! The river would make a deal with me. "I will give you these lovely shoes if you just let me have little Kay back." I said not taking my eyes off the waves.

"He's my best friend and I miss him. I promise if you will take these pretty boots and give Kay back to me, I will never so much as think about the exchange. I'll never miss these wonderful things even one bit." With that, I threw the first boot into the river.

I waited for Kay. Maybe it wants the second boot too, I thought. "I'll give you the other one when you give Kay back." I explained. Nothing happened. With a sigh I threw in the other shoe and waited a few more moments. The boots came back to me on the shore. Was the river rejecting them? Was it so heartless? I looked down at the gentle, soft waves and knew the truth. The river didn't have Kay at all and wouldn't take what meant so much to me with out keeping up it's end of the bargain. I took the boots and put them back in the box with the mirror piece

"River?" I asked softly. "I know now that you do not have Kay but surely he must have gone this way right? Can you take me the way he went?"

I looked at the waves. To my joy and relief, I thought they nodded again.

Looking around I noticed a little boat in the water, tied to a low tree branch. I untied it and hopped on in, setting my box in the boat beside me. I was too young to know that such a thing was stealing. I didn't understand that sometime later another young child might come for their little row boat and find nothing but rope. But I do hope that perhaps that never happened. That it was an abandoned boat.

**AN: Please review.**


	4. The magic garden with no roses

_The magic garden with no roses_

For a long time I just let the current carry me where ever it pleased. Hours and hours later, I came to a cherry orchard. The whole orchard was in full bloom. I could see pass them to a pretty little cottage with two guards standing at attention. I called out to them. I needed one of them to help me out of the boat. Neither called back to me nor moved. They must not have heard me. I called out louder, "Hello?" I called. "Hello? Guards?"

Just then, An old woman wearing a large sun hat with painted flowers on it and using a cane to walk came out of the little cottage.

"Oh my!" She exclaimed when she saw me. "You poor little child, don't worry, I'll help you." She came into the water a very little bit and then used her cane to bring the boat in.

After she helped me out of the boat, she put her arm around me and led me into the cottage.

"What's your name dear?" She said as she led me into a bright sunny room with a soft sofa and a grandfather clock. The walls were painted robin eggs blue and the windowsills were painted yellow. Everything was so homey and relaxing that after about five minutes you would forget it wasn't real your home.

"Gerda." I said softly. I meant to sit down on the sofa for only a minute and then be on my way out but the gentle tick-tock of the tall grandfather clock lulled me into a clam blank-minded state.

The old woman with the pretty sun hat was very kind. She took a silver bowl full of the biggest juiciest, reddest cherries you'd ever see and placed it on my lap.

"Have as many as you like sweet child." She told me with a smile. "But while you eat, do tell me where you came from."

I opened my mouth to speak but before anything came out I popped in one of the beautiful cherries. It was the most glorious berry I'd ever tasted. I popped in another one, letting the juicy flavor fill my mouth. When it faded I spoke up at last. "I live in a town a while away from here. With my best friend Kay. But now he's gone missing some place and I need to find him you see."

"Ah, so you plan on leaving so quickly do you?" The woman looked very sad. "I'm sorry." I truly was. She was so much like dear grandmother that leaving her would be a very sad moment indeed. But I had to. I had to find Kay. "I do wish I could stay."

"As do I." Said the woman. "But do let me comb your hair out first. It's so dreadfully tangled and it's too pretty to just leave in that sorry state. Wouldn't you agree?"

I wasn't so sure. I wanted to thank her for her kindness and leave at once. I had a feeling that I had to go that very minute or that something would stop me from reaching Kay. I shook my head quickly as if there was water in my ears.

"Listen here, little Gerda." The woman said still smiling. "Do you want to look like a little beggar in front of your friend? Or wouldn't you rather look all scrubbed up and pretty?"

"I don't think he cares how I look." I said. And he didn't care. But then the look on his face when he said I looked ugly when I cried popped into my head. The word ugly played over and over in my mind. I would look much worse than tear stained if I didn't let the woman clean me up.

The old woman took a glittering gold comb out of her apron pocket. She sat down on the sofa with me and combed my hair while I ate some more cherries. "Tell me more about your little playmate."

"He's a few years older than I, and he used to like roses just like me. But he stopped liking them after his eye hurt." I told her.

"So you like roses do you?" She worked the comb through my hair faster.

"Oh, Very much!" I assured her. "They are very kindly and remind me of Kay more than any other flower in the world."

As I said the words my thoughts seemed to fade away. I began to feel as if I wasn't talking about my playmate but making up a story for fun.

I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them Kay was completely wiped from my memory. Kay and Roses. Kay and Roses and grandmother. Kay and Roses and grandmother and mother and father. All gone from my mind. I couldn't even recall them as one recalls a dream after a deep sleep.

I thought that I had always lived in the pretty little cottage with the kind old woman who I began to call grandmother.

Everyday was a happy enjoyable sort of day that went the same way each time from morning till night but never became boring.

Each morning I awoke in a pretty room covered with sunflowers and bunnies. There were pink bunnies painted on the bottom frame of the door and a painting of white bunnies in a pink frame on the wall. As for the sunflowers they were everywhere. Real ones were set in several vases. Paintings of them covered the walls. There was even a sunflower tea pot that had sunflower petals in inside. The bed was had white and gold bars coming our of it in pretty flower patterns and the bed spread smelled like violets.

Then I sat at a cherry-wood table and was served pancakes with fresh fruit on the side. I was allowed as much honey and sugar on the pancakes as I pleased. Then the old woman cleared away my plate and said "Do go and play outside dear."

I always offered to help her with the dishes and she always said the same thing. "Dear little child, you will have more than enough time for chores when you are grown. Do not waste your childhood away. Don't you know that's why you're here to begin with?"

If I'd given those words much thought maybe I might have remembered that this was not my real home. But I didn't, rather, I raced outside to play. I spent hours in the cherry orchard and the garden playing. There were flowers everywhere and I came to know everyone of them by name. Still I felt that there was one missing. I couldn't think of which one it was though. Then the sun would set pink as can be, behind the blooming trees.

Then at night I went back to my glorious room (After a simply perfect supper of course), went to sleep, and dreamed dreams as lovely as the sort a queen has on her wedding day.

Things might have gone on like that for ever. (Or at least until the old woman passed way. Assuming that is that she is the sort that could pass away with time and I do have my doubts as to that.) But then one day I happened to look down at a rocking chair by the grandfather clock. On it sat her sun hat. And on there was painted amongst the others, the missing flower. A rose. A perfect beautiful red rose. But what had happened to the roses so that they weren't anywhere but on the hat anymore?

I raced out to the garden and fell on my knees holding my head with my hands. Something was trying to come back to me. It was trying so very hard but it was blocked out. Whatever was being kept out, I knew I wanted it let in. I might have screamed but I was too distressed even for that so I let out no sound but the light thud of tears hitting the grass below. As my tears landed, up popped a rose bush and with that bush came my memory.

"Kay!" I exclaimed, looking at the roses. "Oh poor Kay, I've forgotten you? Are you dead?" I wept harder now. I'd wasted so much time. I didn't even know how much. But I knew it was too much.

"Don't cry little Gerda." the roses on the bush told me.

"Why shouldn't I?" I asked them.

"Because you little playmate lives." The roses said cheerfully. "We have just come from underground where the dead all are and he wasn't there."

"Oh!" I kissed each rose. "Thank you! Thank you!" I was so happy that I spun around in a little dance before turning back to the roses. "But why were you under the earth to begin with?"

"That old woman sent us down there. We are her flowers and had no choice but to obey. Though we are so glad your tears have called us up. We've missed the sunshine terribly." The roses sighed.

Why had she sent them away? How could the kind woman that tucked me into bed at night be so cruel as to send such beautiful flowers down into pure darkness? "But why did she send you there?"

The roses shook as they spoke. "After she used the enchanted comb to make you forget about Kay, she needed to get rid of us so that you wouldn't remember him. we roses always make you think of him."

"Do you know where I can find him?" I asked. Now that I remembered, I had to act on my memory if I could.

"Sorry, we roses don't know much about places we haven't been and surely Kay is in a place we have never ever been." They told me in mounfuly flowerly tones.

I turned to the tulips. "I have never spoken with a tulip." I admitted. "But you might know better than the roses wonderful though they are. Do tell me if you know where to find Kay."

The Tulips proceeded to tell a long story about children playing together under a big tree.

When it had finished I spoke. "Um, that was...nice...but er, what does that have to do with Kay?"

"Nothing." the goofy little flowers giggled. "we just like that story."

"But it's of no help to me!" I protested. I gave up on them and asked several other flowers if they knew where to find Kay.

Hours later I knew all about Paintings of castles, funny jokes, bright colors, sad songs, happy songs, angry people, joyous people, ugly children, pretty children, fairies, elves, mice, cats, good gardeners, bad gardeners, the best way to plant fruit tress, the worst way to plant fruit trees, and what apples taste the best and why. But not one word about Kay!

"Ugh!" I exclaimed. I kissed the roses one last time, out of thankfulness but glared at the other flowers They hadn't helped one bit. Then I raced out of the orchard. Pushing the rusty lock of the gate open and running away. Far far away long before the old woman even noticed I was gone.

At times I do wonder what might have become of me if I'd lived the rest of my life with the old woman. What I have come up with is this, she offered me new childhood with out tight housing and the loss of a friend. But it was at the price that I would have to give up any hope of being with dear Kay again. it wasn't worth that. I would have said goodbye but I refused to risk it for I feared she'd some how trick me into staying.

**AN: Please review. **


	5. The Prince and the Princess

_The Prince and the Princess_

One thing I'd forgotten to take into account was that in the garden which I now knew was magical, it was always some sort of summer/spring. The leaves never fell and the snow never came. But outside in the real world it was a different story. It was almost winter, the leaves had fallen and there was a light frost on the ground that chilled my bare feet and made them ache. At first I ignored the burning pain and the fact that my feet had gone from pink to red to light blue to dark blue. But at last I could endure it no more and sat down a rock to rest for a bit.

Just then a big black crow flew down and landed beside me on my rock. His beak curled up and it looked like he was smiling. "Good day." He said,

"Good day to you Mr. Crow." I said in my most polite voice. I was surprised to find that my voice sounded a little weak.

"Why are you out here all alone with no one to look after you?" The crow asked looking down at my feet. "You're feet might turn black and fall off if you keep going about without shoes in this weather. Haven't you any shoes of your own little maiden?"

"I lost them." I admitted sadly. "They were in a cardboard box in a little boat but were forgotten there along with my ugly mirror piece."

"Ah, I see, but why are you all alone?" He asked again.

I sighed and told him all about Kay, my best friend and dear playmate. I told him how dearly I loved my friend and how I needed to find him. And how everyone else thought he was dead but I believed he was alive because I could feel just feel it and also because the roses told me so.

The old crow ruffled his feathers. "I do wonder..." he said. "I could be...It could be him....I just might me."

I gasped with delight and fairly smothered that poor crow with kisses. "You know where he is? You've seen him? Oh tell me!" I begged.

"Calm down." The crow told me jumping just out of my reach so I couldn't kiss him again. "If it is your Kay, it doesn't matter because he's forgotten you for the princess."

Princess? Kay lived with a princess? How had this happened? I could scarcely believe it. Kay was just a poor little city boy how did he manage to win a princess? Oh what did I care? I was just too happy at the thought of finding him again to care about who he lived with.

"Does he live with a princess?" I asked, taken aback, but smiling all the same.

The crow nodded. "It was a strange thing indeed. I'll never forget how it all happened. You see, this princess is very very smart and no one could possibly have been wise enough for her. Most princes were quite dumb in comparison to her and she didn't like that one bit."

"Was she that smart?" I asked. "I heard that princes are trained to be clever."

"Not as cleaver as she is." the crow chuckled. "She is so smart that she has read all the news papers in the world and then forgotten them again!"

"What is so cleaver about forgetting newspapers?" I asked not unkindly.

The crow gave me an understanding look that said he was more than willing to explain. "You see, most people who are smart are smart enough only to learn and then blab information that people really don't want to hear to begin with. But this princess is so smart that she forgets then until they are needed. She is wise as well as smart. Do you see how that works?"

I nodded. It made sense. "But how does Kay come into all of this?"

The Crow took in a deep breath and stomped his claw against the rock. "I'm getting there, hold your horses."

"Sorry do go on."

The crow continued, "So this smart Princess decides that she is lonely in all her brilliance and should like to have a husband. But she doesn't know where to find a suitable one. After a lot of thought she came up with a contest. Whichever young man in all the world who didn't cower at her cleverness, whichever man would talk back to her and not just take everything she said lying down, would be her husband."

"Kay won didn't he?" I exclaimed joyfully. "He's clever enough to talk back to any know-it-all princess. Why, he's a know-it-all himself!"

The Crow stared at me blankly while I spoke. He wanted to go on with the story and I was interrupting again.

"So anywho..." The Crow began again. "They had tons of young men waiting in line outside the palace. Many of the ones who thought themselves smart enough weren't even cleaver enough to bring lunch with them! ha ha. And none of these young men smart or not were most certainly not up for sharing. I suppose they thought a hungry looking man could never win the princess and so wanted to keep the others as hungry as possible to improve their own chances."

I tried to keep my mouth shut so that the crow could finish but I couldn't any longer. I had to know if Kay was there. "What about Kay? Was he in the line?"

"I'm getting there." The crow clanked his beak and glared at me. "The young men were all idiots more or less. For when they stood before the princess they said nothing at all but they gaped at her and only repeated the last word she had spoken. And let me tell you, that got old fast."

"I can see how it would." I laughed.

The crow chuckled a bit himself before speaking again. "So then a boy shows up in dressed in rags. And he walks up to the gates and sees the royal guards covered in jewels and gold threads. And does he feel intimidated by them at all? No! He simply says, "I do pity you standing out there all day. It must be dull. I know I would rather go in." and the guards took a liking to him at once they said you could see he was quite witty once you got passed his awful clothing."

"Did you see this boy? What did he look like?" I asked.

"Well," Said the crow thinking hard. "I saw the back of him going into the palace. He was in rags as I said before. And he had creaky boots in better condition than his clothes."

"Then it was Kay!" I cried. "He had new boots! I heard them creak when he ran away from me to play with the other boys."

The crow's beak turned up again. I was certain now that it meant the same a smile. "And he had a little bundle on his back."

I shook my head. "That must have been his sled." I beamed up at the crow.

"It could have been." The crow admitted.

"I must go to this palace and see him at once." I told the crow.

"A little girl like you would never be allowed in the palace." The crow pointed out.

"Yes I will, Kay would send for me if he knew I was so close." I was very excited. I could barely wait to speak to Kay again. I wanted to tell him about how sad the family was without him, about how the roses had spoken to me, about everything.

"I dunno." The crow was uncertain. "they don't just let anyone in there you know."

"But I'm not just anyone. I'm his best friend! He'll want me there! I know he will!" I burst into tears thinking of Kay and the thought that I might be shut out from the palace while he was kept in.

"Don't cry. There there." the crow rubbed against my shoulder. "I'll get you in. I-I promise."

"How?" I asked.

"I have a tame sweetheart. A lovely lady crow. She often stays in the palace and takes whatever bread crumbs the princess or her lady-in-waitings are willing to offer. She'll know of a way to get you in."

Late that night, I followed the crow and his sweetheart to the palace and they led me in through a little door in the back. The female crow had taken the key from the apron pocket of kitchen girl who'd given her crumbs. I walked through many rooms with silk drapes, satin sofas, and velvet lined walls. Following the two crows I came to be in front of two big golden doors.

"The prince and Princess sleep in there." The tame female crow told me.

"Thank you Miss Crow." I said softly. My hands trembled as they reached out to push open the heavy doors. Was I about to see Kay again at last?

Suddenly I heard a faint call of a hunting horn and out of the room came tiny finger-sized shadows. The shadows were in the form of a hunting party. There were tiny shadow stallions with royal lords sitting upon then, tiny shadow mares with ladies of the court seated side saddle eager to watch their men hunt, and there was even a couple of shadow ponies with little shadow children sitting up tall and proud.

"What are they?" I asked the male Crow. I knew they were shadows but I'd never known shadows could be present without someone standing in the light.

I must have looked frightened for the female crow nuzzled her head on my lower arm and the male Crow said, "Don't be afraid. They can't hurt you. They're only dreams."

"It is all just as well." Said the female crow. "You'll be able to see the young royals asleep and can find out if it's your little playmate or not with out causing a row."

"I don't need to find out if it's Kay." I said. "I know it's Kay. It has to be. It just has to be."

The female crow turned to the male crow with a look of disappointment on her face. "It was rather unkind of you to get the girl's hopes up with out being sure."

"How was I to be sure?" The male crow asked. "I only thought it might be her little friend and that the hope might bring a smile to her face."

"I know you meant well but..." The female crow stopped mid sentence noticing that I was already walking into the room.

I tip-toped every so slowly across the velvet carpeting passed clear yellowish curtains over to where one white swan-feathered bed was. I couldn't see the bed very clearly due to lack of light. I noticed a small candle-already lit- in a silver holder. It was on a little wooden table next to a dove-feathered love-seat. I picked up the holder and carried it over to the bed. On the side I was approaching, there laid the most beautiful young woman ever seen with mortal eyes. She was pale and delicate with long wavy hair that was spend out on her frilly-cased pillow. I knew she must be the princess. No wonder the young men and been so dumb-struck in front of her. She was stunning as well as remarkably smart. I wasn't surprised that Kay had won her though. No he was cleaver enough to win anyone he liked. He could do sums in his head.

I walked around to the other side of the bed and there he was! Kay! He was there I couldn't see his face for he was sleeping on his belly with only the back of his neck uncovered from the ribbon-laced covers. But I knew it was him. I'd have known that neck anywhere.

"Is it him?" The male crow flew in and landed on my shoulder.

"Yes. I can tell by his neck." I whispered setting the candle down on a little bed-side table. "It's him. It's really him." I'd never been so happy in my life. Oh, what a joy it was to see him again. I wondered if the hunting dream had been his own or if it had been the princess's dream.

Happily I pulled back the covers and got into the bed with Kay and the princess. I snuggled up next to Kay and closed my eyes.

"Are you going to stay there all night?' The male crow asked.

"Yes, I can't wait until he wakes up and finds me here." I whispered joyfully.

"Would you mind if my sweetheart and I waited in the other part of the room until morning just to see that all turns out well?"

I shook my head. Everything would be fine. How could it not be? I was with Kay. But I didn't mind if they stayed. I adored the sweet crows and the idea that they were going to be close by all night was very nice indeed.

I feel into a peaceful sleep with no dreams for hours and hours until I was awakened by a small ray of sunshine peeping through a ant-sized gap in the dark curtains. I could wait no longer. I reached over and shook Kay awake. "Kay!" I cried happily shaking him awake. "it's morning! Time to get up!"

Kay rolled over and opened his eyes. It was not Kay! It was a young man who was a quite a bit older than Kay but had a neck just like Kay's. He was remarkably handsome with bright friendly eyes that looked very surprised and confused to see me sitting in the bed beside him.

I burst into tears. I couldn't believe it! I had been so sure it was Kay and now the mirror of my hopes was shattered.

The prince's face softened. "Please don't cry little girl." He pleaded. "It's alright really. I'm not angry." He smiled at me "See?"

The princess woke up and asked what was going on.

"There is a poor little girl here." The prince explained. "She's weeping. I think I might have frightened her somehow."

"Oh the poor dear!" The princess exclaimed. "Don't cry sweet. We're not angry with you. However did you get in here?"

The prince folded his arms and glared at the princess. "Don't ask her that!" He pointed to me. "Look she's crying even harder now."

"Well we need to know who she is and how she came to be here don't we?" The princess huffed.

The prince shrugged. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that she's here now."

The princess sighed. "But look at her! Weeping so hard, whatever are we to do? Maybe we should send for a nurse maid to bring toys and treats for her."

The prince looked at her like she was mad. "Toys wont fix anything and nurse maids can't quiet a child better than us."

"What do we know about keeping children quiet?" The princess retorted. "I couldn't even make myself be quiet as a kid."

All the crying and talking had awoken the Crows who came in looking very sorry. They explained it all to the prince and princess who instantly were hugging and comforting me. Telling me I was more than welcome to stay with them and that the crows would be given a reward for being so kind to me.

"Oh no." I said. "No, thank you your highness. I really must not stay."

"Well at least let us provide you with a carriage." The prince offered. That sounded good. That way I'd be able to get around faster and looked for Kay in more places.

The princess growled and smacked the prince on the back of the head.

"What?" He frowned at her. "What'd you hit me for?"

"Invite her to breakfast first!" She hissed. "What sort of manners is sending a little girl off into the world with out something to eat?"

"I'm just starting to learn my court manners." The prince reminded her. "I've only been a prince a matter of weeks."

I let out a giggle.

They looked at me with softened expressions and led me by the hand down to breakfast.

It was a glorious breakfast. The sort that has courses like a fancy supper. First there was toast with butter and orange juice to wash it down with. Then came silver trays filled with pastries and mini cakes. After than there were sausage and bacon and pancakes. Followed by little chocolate truffles with strawberries baked in them. After the breakfast I felt quite well but very tired and I asked the prince and princess if I might lie down for a bit.

I was led into a nursery-like bedroom chamber with a large silk bed that had a pink canopy over it. I rested for what felt like a few minutes but was really hours and when I woke up I felt colder than I'd ever felt in my life. Simply freezing.

The Prince and Princess covered me with thick black-velvet blankets but still I shivered.

The princess felt my forehead. "She's really ill." she said to the prince in a frightened voice. "Call the physician."

"It's alright, Gerda." The prince assured me as he ran out to get the physician. He said it was alright and yet there were tears in his eyes as he said it.

Was I dying? I did feel so very weak. Within twenty minutes I had begun to have trouble breathing and coughed constantly. The princess sat by the bad side and held my hand. I gasped for air I thought I might never breathe again. I managed to cough up a lot of phlegm and take a few raspy breaths.

Finally the Prince returned with the physician. "The little girl has pneumonia." he said after examining me.

"What do we do for her?' The prince asked. The physician told him want sort of medical elixirs to give me when the coughing got too bad and said very clearly that I was to stay in bed and rest for at least three weeks.

"She couldn't have gotten it worse if she'd been walking bare foot in the frost." The physician remarked.

I must have looked guilty because the physician raised an eyebrow at me and sucked his teeth. "Children sure do such foolish things now-a-days." He muttered somewhat out loud but also to himself. "Such silly things would never have been allowed when I was a child."

"And when you were a child you had wooly mammoths to carry you over the frost." The prince sneered at him.

The princess mouthed "Sorry." to the physician and handed him his payment, a bag of gold coins. After he left the Princess smiled at the prince as if to say, "I thought what you said was very funny indeed by I wasn't about to admit it with the physician in the room."

The prince and the princess looked at me with sad eyes. I decided to close my own. They must have thought I was asleep so they spoke about my heath between themselves.

"The poor lass." The princess said softly, sounding like she was going to burst into tears. "You don't think she might...might...die?"

"I don't know but we'll just do what the physician said and let her rest. I don't know the man but he does know what he's talking about health wise." The prince answered.

"What about sending her to find her little playmate?" The princess wanted to know. "We can't send her when she's this ill."

"She'll be disappointed I'm sure." The prince agreed. "But maybe there is something we can do."

"Like what?"

"We could always send out the royal guards to look for the boy."

"That is a good idea." The princess said. "but supposing they don't find him and she wants to go off. When she's well I mean."

"I know it was I that offered the carriage to being with but now that she's so ill I'm worried." The prince confessed. "If she was to get better and we were to send her out into the world and she was to fall ill again on the road....I don't think I'd be able to live with myself."

"I know what you mean but we can't keep her here forever." The princess said.

"Why not?" the prince retorted. "She could be a lady of the court. And we have enough room for her. And as I said before, the guards can go out and find her playmate."

The princess sighed. "It's no use talking about this now seeing as she'll be here for a while recovering whether she likes it or not."

At that they turned and left the room.

Alone in the dark (For it was nighttime now), I cried to myself. I was growing fond of the prince and princess but I couldn't stay here. I had to go. I just had to. And yet I was confined to my bed. Not only by people but by my own body which had fallen sick at the worst possible time. And for that I hated not my illness but myself. I hated myself for preventing me from finding Kay. I cried until I felt myself fall into a warm sort of darkness and completely blacked out. When I opened my eyes it was daylight and the prince and princess were at my bedside. The prince was holding one of my hands.

"She's waking up." He said happily.

The princess sighed with relief. "Oh is she going to be alright?"

I looked at them dumbfounded. I didn't know what was going on. "Did I get worse in the night?"

"Yes Gerda dear you did." The princess told me in a kind voice. "you stopped breathing in your sleep last night."

"It was so sudden." The prince explained. "The nurse maid was walking by to check on you one last time before getting a little sleep herself and she walked by and hear you making the most frightful gasps."

"She ran to us right away." The princess added. "And said that we had to come quickly and she sent a man servant to fetch that physician again."

"He was dreadfully rude wasn't he?" The prince said. "As it if it was the lass's fault she stopped breathing. I think people with jobs like that should be kinder don't you?"

"Yes." The princess agreed quickly before continuing with the story. "We were with you all night and thankfully you started breathing again but oh, how very cold you were."

I looked into their faces and realized that they were slightly less attractive this morning. The princess was still beautiful but her face was a ghostly white and she looked shaky and unstable. The prince was still handsome but there were bright red rings around his now blood-shot eyes.

"I'm sorry to be such trouble." I told them. "If it was up to me I'd already have been on my way."

They shook their heads and told me to think nothing of it.

"Well, now that you seem to be awake for the day we've got some company to amuse you." The prince said with a goofy grin on his face.

The crows flew in both the male and his sweetheart. They landed on my bed side and cooed at me.

"You don't know how glad I am to see you." I beamed at them.

"And we, you." The male crow said. "I must say I'm mighty glad we got you to the palace before the sickness hit. Otherwise odds are you'd be dead right now."

"Oh dead, what does dead matter?" I demanded. "Back home they say Kay is dead and though I don't believe them, he'll be dead someday and maybe I'll just have to meet him underground in the land of the dead."

"You don't know what you are saying!" The prince exclaimed. "Death is...well...death! Don't you know what that means?"

"I know but I don't understand." I confessed.

"It's like a deep sleep with no dreams." the princess explained to me. "If you were to die you would never see Kay again. Not even when he died and joined you."

"Never?" I gasped. Never seemed so very permanent.

"That's what death is dear." The female crow said gently.

I sighed deeply and groaned inside as though I was an old woman rather than a little girl. I was starting to understand life and what I understood about it I didn't like one bit. It was so short and lonely. But I still believed Kay was alive. Roses never lied to me.

"Don't you worry one bit." The princess patted my hand. "We've got a grand idea that I think will make you just jump with joy!" She turned to the prince. "Tell her."

"We're sending the royal guards out to look for your little playmate!" The prince said happily.

I smiled weakly at them. I was happy that they cared but also worried. It might mean that they didn't intend to let me leave, ever. And ever was so permanent that it rivaled the frightened feeling "Never" gave me. And if the guards couldn't find him and I wasn't allowed to search? No, I didn't want to think about that. I only wanted to get well. I wanted to live. For no other reason than to find Kay.

**AN: Please review**


	6. Royal life

_Life as a royal_

Time passed and I started to recover. I grew healthy enough to eat breakfast at the royal table in the dinning room with the Prince and the Princess. And the Crows who never left the palace. They were very elderly crows after all and it was now their home as much as it was the home of the prince and princess.

Then I got strong enough to wander a bit. And the prince and princess decided that I should have new gowns made for me. Gowns of velvet, satin, ribbon, silk, and jewels.

I'd never seen so much pretty clothing never mind have soft slippers to match it all. And then there was the jewelry. Light gold chains set with rubies and diamonds. Little silver rings. And all the give-aways the princess could spare.

Although they were far to young to actually have a child my age, the prince and the princess began to treat me as if I was their own child or baby sister or little cousin or else some sort of relation to them.

I had never been so spoiled in all my days. The princess never wanted me to do anything, rather she insisted that everyone in the castle do things for me. And the prince? God forbid one of the servants let me touch dirt! That was a crime worthy of the dungeon. No wonder rich children were often such brats. They didn't know that most children didn't have everything done for them.

I was made much of and always bowed to by the servants, ladies-in-waiting, and visitors to the castle. Sometimes I found it hard to remember that I wasn't really of royal birth. It is very easy to remember such a thing when you live in a small house with only a roof for a play place. It is not so easy to remember when you are always covered with fancy garments and have twenty-five playrooms set aside just for you.

But as I grew stronger and even more time passed, I knew I would have to leave. I was at last strong enough to go looking for dear Kay. None of the guards had found him yet and even the prince and princess were starting to think it might be a lost cause.

So I gathered myself up and walked into the room where the prince and princess and some other ladies and lords of the court were sitting on red-silk cushions listening to the flute players they hired to entertain them.

"Excuse me." I said politely to the group. "May I speak with the prince and princess alone?"

The prince motioned with his hands for the flute players to stop playing. They stopped mid-note.

The princess sent the ladies and lords out of the room. "We'll have more entertainment later." She assured them.

"but..." one lord persisted.

"Later." The princess said firmly.

"What's on your mind, sweet?" The princess asked me after she'd managed to shove the lord out of the room.

I took a deep breath. This was going to hurt them but I needed to say it. "I need to go look for Kay."

"No." The prince said.

"What do you mean no?" I demanded, hoping my hard tone used for the first time might make them like me a teeny bit less.

"I mean no." The prince didn't so much as blink. "You are one of the family now and I am not just going to let you go around the whole world all by yourself. Do you understand?"

"We could go with her." The princess put in sheepishly. The Prince was rarely this stern and it was never wise to argue with him when he was like this but she risked it anyway. "We always talked about traveling."

"Tis a wild goose chase." The prince huffed. "It's time to face facts the lad is..dead. If was alive the guards would have found him by now."

"He's not dead." I retorted. "The roses even said so."

"The testimony of a flower isn't admissible." The prince said.

The princess became huffy with him. "If would be if it were something you wanted!" She stomped her foot and stormed out of the room.

"Wait, do you want her to leave or something?" He chased after her. "What in the world..."

"Both of you wait up." I chased after both of them.

This argument went on for hours until at last even the princess thought I shouldn't go. I wept and cried and begged but neither seemed moved. They said it wasn't safe for me. That I was better off staying with them.

"Don't you love us?" The prince asked me with tears in his eyes.

A new kind of tears entered my own eyes.

"Of course I do." I bawled. "Don't you know of my affection for you and the princess and the crows?" I shook my head. "Don't you know I would do nearly anything for you?"

"Then why do you want to leave us?" The princess asked the prince's unspoken question.

"I love Kay too." I whispered. "He's so dear to me. I have to find him. I have to find my playmate." I shot them a pleading look. "Wont you let me go find him? You'd like him. We'd come back to visit."

"If you were alive you might come back." The prince pointed out. "Ogres or robbers or worse could get you. You could lose your life over a dead boy."

"He's not dead!" I wailed. "He's not in the ground where the dead are and also, Kay hasn't gone across the river. The river didn't wouldn't take my shoes."

"Your shoes?" The prince's brow crinkled.

"The ones I left in the cardboard box in the boat with the mirror piece." I explained. "but that's not the point. The point is that I must go find Kay." I turned the princess. "If your darling prince was taken away from you, wouldn't you go look for him? Even if he wasn't your husband but only your playmate?"

The princess seemed moved.

"And you too." I said to the prince. "If something happened to her...Or even to me....You'd search wouldn't you?"

The prince nodded. "I would. But you can't go just yet."

"But I have to." I insisted.

"You are not to go until I give you leave to do so." The prince's stare hardened. "understood?"

"Understood." The princess answered for me.

I glared at her. How dare she betray me like that! The prince might never give me permission to leave. I stormed out of the room angrily.

Later the princess found me sulking in one of the many rooms that had been put aside for me.

"I'm not talking to you." I turned my back to her. She might have convinced the prince to let me go and she did nothing of the sort. I would never speak to her again.

"Well, you can listen then." The princess sat down beside me. "I know him. He intends to let you leave and find your playmate. It'll all be fine."

"Liar." I huffed my back still turned to her.

"I wouldn't lie to you, sweetheart." The princess inched closer and put her arm around me. "I'll even make a deal with you. If he keeps you here any longer than a fortnight, I'll get you out of here myself."

I looked up at her with shinning eyes. Was she trying to get rid of me or did she really care about me finding Kay? As I looked up into her face I knew the answer. I was a dear to her as a daughter but she was willing to let me go and find my playmate.

"Thank you." I said. I felt awful about calling her a liar and said so.

She said I must think nothing of it and that she forgave me knowing that I was in distress when I said it.

The fortnight passed semi-happily. I spent plenty of time with the prince and the princess same as always although the prince seemed to be around a bit less. I wondered what he was up to but didn't ask. He'd become strangely withdrawn. I'm not one to talk however seeing as although I was with the prince and princess my mind and thoughts were not. They were with Kay, where ever he was. I prayed my good thoughts would keep him safe. And most of my heart was not in the palace life in the least. It was in the life of the past spent on roof tops with roses.

The princess kept her word to me and had a coach ready.

"It is such a pity that we have to sneak you out. No one even gets to say a proper goodbye this way." She said mournfully. "Are you certain you want to leave?"

I didn't answer. It was a stupid question.

"Sorry." The Princess sighed. "It's just we'll all miss you so much." She gave a me a little hug. "You're our darling little girl."

"I'll come back someday." I promised her. "It might not be soon but it's not goodbye forever." Tears started forming in my eyes as I spoke.

The princess let out another sigh. "Well at the very least I can be contented that you'll have a suitable dress and shoes in place of those hideous things you came in with."

My things weren't hideous. Wandering about at all hours had just taken it'll toll on them.

"You gave me so much more than a new dress." I told her. "You gave me a home, you took care of me when I was ill, both you and the prince. Will you tell him goodbye for me?"

"I will." She assured me as she lifted my foot (covered by a green satin slipper) so that I could reach the high-off-the-ground silver coach.

"You really should have footmen but they are so loyal to that husband of mine that they'd blab about you leaving. It's a miracle that we found a mute driver!" The princess looked quite unhappy. "It really isn't safe for you to travel mostly alone."

"I'll go with her, your highness." The male crow cawed as he flew up to us.

The princess didn't seem very comforted. "It's better than nothing." She admitted. "A look out bird would be useful."

"What about your sweetheart?" I asked the crow. "We might be gone for a long time."

"Oh, how hard could finding one little boy be?" The crow ruffled his feathers as though he thought it would be a simple as buying bread.

"The royal guards couldn't find him." I pointed out.

"Pshaw." The crow didn't seem to care about the guards. He let out a few snorts before landing on the coach window.

"Be safe." The princess told me.

"Goodbye." whispered my voice cracked and I knew I was holding back tears.

Tears slid freely down the princess's cheeks as she waved goodbye and the coach started moving down the road.

Not even two minutes later, the crow let out a frightened caw. "All the prince's horses and all the prince's men!" He exclaimed.

"Following us?" How could they have found out?

"Please go faster!" I called to the driver. "We must go faster."

He did go faster but it was only the difference between a walk and a trot which didn't help in the least because the prince and his men were galloping.

"Faster than that you moron!" Shrieked the crow in a panicked voice.

The driver who didn't like being called a moron went slower just to spite him.

The prince caught up with us in less than a minute. But I wasn't ready to give up just yet. Nothing was going to stop me from finding Kay. Nothing! I jumped out of the coach, un-tied the horse to the coach, jumped on his back and went into a full gallop.

The crow was impressed and had to flap his wings very hard to keep up with me. "Good job Gerda!" he cheered at he struggled to flap hard enough.

"They're gaining on me." I cried in despair.

"Can't that beast you're on go any faster?" The crow asked.

"He's doing the best he can." I pointed out. After all I could feel the poor horse's sweat coming up from his coat.

"Wait!" The prince called from behind. Some of his men cut in front of me so I couldn't go any farther.

The prince panted breathlessly. "You can't go with out these Gerda." He handed a cardboard box to me. "and it was so mean of you to leave with out a goodbye to me and the other members of the court. The princess isn't the only one who loves you." He looked quite sullen.

"I feared that if I stayed any longer you wouldn't let me leave." I told him.

"I did say I would." The prince pointed out. "but it took us a bit longer than I thought it would to find that box of yours. The boat went a drift."

I gasped and opened the box. It was my own box none the worse for a little wear and tear. And my red winter shoes were unharmed. right next to them was my mirror piece. I was so overjoyed that I began to cry. My tears fell upon the mirror piece and the murky reflection vanished leaving streaks which faded slowly reveling a strange image. A boy that looked very familiar moving some piece of ice around on the floor in front of him. I knew the boy at once. "Kay!"

The Prince leaned over. "It's a piece of a magic mirror!" He exclaimed.

"How can it be?" I wondered out loud. "I thought all it did was make pretty things ugly."

"Tears are more powerful than you might think." The prince said. "It was your tears which first moved my wife and I into caring for you."

And with that I thanked him, promised I would be safe, and got back in the coach. This time though, I had footmen and the crow was to stay behind.

"Goodbye, Gerda!" He cawed following the coach as far as he dared to.

"Goodbye!" I called back. And with that, I continued on deep into the woods, to search for Kay.

**AN: Please review. I haven't been getting as many reviews for this story as I was hoping for. **


	7. The Little Robber Girl

**AN: If it's weird reading this after at LEAST a year of no updates from me on it, imagine how weird it was for me to write it! What happened? Well, the name "Emmeline" ramdonly popped into my head and something screamed, "That's the robber girl for your snow queen fic!" and it didn't matter how much I told my mind I hadn't updated that story in for ever; it simply insisted I write about Gerda and Emmeline anyway. So, to be clear, this story is NOT offically off of hiatus and I don't know when the next chapter will be out, but since I was so suddenly compelled to write this one, I figured I'd post it. Better late than never, right? **

_The Little Robber Girl_

We-the footmen, the driver, and I-had been traveling for so long that I lost all sense of time. Now that I am older, however, I believe it could have been as long as two years, give or take, because the beautiful clothes the prince and princess gave me, while still fitting, had become shorter on me and a little tight around the bust. There even came a day when I could not, no matter how hard I struggled at it, squeeze my feet into my winter boots from home. I still kept them, of course, but I couldn't wear them any longer.

As for the mirror piece, I looked into it every day so I could see Kay and how he was hanging on. I could never see what he was doing, and sometimes it looked like he was talking to someone; but I couldn't see them. He must have looked older, too, but I didn't notice. All I cared about was reaching him. And when the mirror mysteriously clouded over one day, turning as black as an onyx, I shed bitter tears for the lost of that small comfort. But whatever magic my crying had, it could not bring his image back to the mirror-piece again.

Oh, Kay, I thought, if only I knew how to reach you faster than this.

"It's real silver-the coach is real silver!" cried a greedy-sounding voice, distracting me from my thoughts.

The next thing I was aware of, I was being pulled by my arms out of the coach. However much I struggled and kicked and bit it was to no avail, and I found myself face-to-face with a group of dark-haired men in torn up purple clothing.

Although they themselves were mostly men, their leader was a tall burly woman with pointy-looking teeth and a smile that was much too broad for my liking.

I saw out of the corner of my right eye that while two of the men held me in place, squeezing my arms until I could hardly even feel them, the rest were taking the coach apart for its silver.

Where is the driver? I wondered worriedly. Where are the footmen the prince gave me?

To my horror, I watched one of the men, a pot-bellied fellow with a gold arm-ring pushed up onto his left arm, lift up the driver's seat of the carriage and saw it was covered with blood.

So he was gone, then. The footmen, too, probably. My stomach lurched and if I hadn't been so terrified about my own fate, I would have vomited. I had liked the driver-mute and stupid though he'd been-and the footmen had been kind, too. How horrid it was to think that in one flash they were gone.

I hated knowing what dead meant; I missed the days when I hadn't, when I'd thought it was likely another word for 'prisoner'. And now I had to face the fact that my friends were dead. That I might go next. But, alas, I refused to die-for, if I died, who would go and bring Kay back home? I loved him too much to die and forsake him.

The leader woman, now that her men had gathered up all the silver they could carry, turned her attention to me. "What have we here?"

I tried to squirm out the grips that held me firmly in place, but of course it was still no use.

Pulling a knife out of a brown silken sash she wore around her middle, the robber woman said, in the most alarming tone imaginable, "What a tender little morsel we've gotten here. Why, she'll be better than duck or quail; we shall eat her in a stew tonight."

"You ain't doin' that! You can't!" cried a shrill voice that, surprisingly, was not my own. It belonged to a little girl around my own age and size with matted black hair that fell around her face in a floppy, wild manner. Her bangs were too long and unevenly cut so part of it fell over her eyes; but what I could see of them appeared to be either an off shade of very dark greenish-blue or else a mossy hazel.

"Emmeline," said the robber woman, who I gathered was her mother judging by their identical noses, "what are you jabbering about?"

"You ain't gonna eat 'er for _real_, Ma, are ya?"

"Course," said the robber woman. "And you, too. Aren't yer hungry?"

She shook her head. "No, I wanna keep her."

"Whatever for?" demanded the robber woman.

"To play with," said Emmeline, tugging at a crimson shawl she wore sloppily over her shoulders that probably hadn't belonged to her or her people originally. "There's no one else to play with. You and the other robbers are too big to wrestle with and can't play any games without gambling."

"But she's too delicate," protested the robber woman, waving her wrist at a passing fly, trying to kill it. "She'll be less fun than any of us are for you."

Emmeline stared right into my eyes for a moment; I willed myself not to squirm, sensing that this might be my salvation. She seemed like the only reasonable one of the lot, and if I could make her want to save me, maybe I could make her want to let me go on to find Kay, too.

"No," said Emmeline, her voice firm as anything, tossing her head back to show her conviction. "She's a sturdy girl, I can tell. And she's going to be my friend. What's more is she's going to give me her pretty clothes and things, too."

Considering that not a single word had passed between us as of yet, I thought this rather forward of her. At any rate, it was probably worth it to comply, rather than to protest. Kay, I think, would have protested; but, truth is, much as I loved him, I knew by then that he did not actually know everything-that he was only human like the rest of us. That didn't make me love him any less, yet I no longer saw him as deserving of reverence, or always in the right.

"I suppose we could have venison for supper instead," said the robber woman, giving in to her daughter in a way that was probably more habitual than I realized at the time.

With that, Emmeline came and pried me away from the men holding onto my arms, embraced me so tightly I thought she was going to crush every bone in my body, and then told me, very slowly as if she thought I might be less than intelligent, that as long as I swore friendship with her she would never let any harm come to me.

"Yes," I said quickly, trying not to think of the driver and the footmen (if only someone could have made a vow of friendship with _them_!), "we're friends."

"And you needn't worry about not having anything to wear when you give me your dress, either, because we've got plenty of clothes back and camp. What fits me will probably fit you, too!"

I was then led into a camp with dozens of tents pitched up any old way and cushions dotted across the small area they occupied. A few toothless men with gray hair and faces that were not at all nice (maybe the fathers of the male robbers) were sitting around playing cards, spiting at each other and cussing by turn. A great bonfire roared in the middle to keep everyone well supplied in warmth and light.

My already weakened stomach twisted into a tighter knot when I saw that the coach driver's hat and the greatcoats belonging to the footmen had were already being used as gambling material despite the fact that the robbers had just returned with them less than five minutes before.

"Here," said Emmeline, thrusting something into my arms. "These are for you."

She had handed me a woolen gray tunic with shinny, square-shaped, white-gold buttons and a pair of brown tights and matching faded leather boots. I shuddered later on when it occurred to me that they had probably been pinched off of someone who was dead, but for right then I changed without mulling over much of anything; Emmeline was getting impatient about my dress.

No sooner had the pretty garment been off my body than she snatched it up and flung it over herself. Twirling around, she declared it was the very nicest dress she'd ever owned.

I asked if I might keep my own boots and mirror-piece. I still hoped to use it to see Kay, if only I could make it clear up again. But, alas, Emmeline could not grant my request, though she claimed she wanted to. My boots had been claimed and were to be cut up for their material and the mirror-piece, she said, she hadn't seen. It had been lost somehow in all the hustle and bustle.

Smoothing out my tunic, I laid down on the cushion she said was for me to sleep on. I was awfully tired, and so I should have at least slept a little, only Emmeline snored-and so did everyone else at the camp. The robber woman even talked in her sleep. The words she spoke were all dreadful: death, hunt, fight, pillage, raid, steal. I wondered if she'd ever had anything kind to say to anybody aside from maybe the semi-spoiled Emmeline.

The next morning, I was awakened by my new companion. Emmeline wanted breakfast and insisted I come with her to try and wake her mother and convince her to do something about the first meal of the day.

Her mother was not very pleasant in the mornings, she said, and she didn't like to try and get her to wake up on her own. Usually she brought one of the lower-ranking robbers with her for moral support; but as her new best friend, that job had officially been passed on to me.

If the robber woman had not seen her daughter at my side right away, she would have shot at me with her pistol or stabbed at me with her knife, I think. But, thankfully, Emmeline's dark eyes and excellent scowl worked wonders on her so that she forgot that I was the one who'd had to shake her arm-however gingerly I'd managed it-and got up with a few muttered swears and a couple of light grunts.

After we'd eaten, a meal of pilfered bread and sausages washed down with a jug of cream from a reindeer's milk, Emmeline decided that we had to play tag and hide and seek. I was allowed to win at hide and seek, since it was the game she said she liked least to win at, but she made me lose on purpose at tag because it wouldn't be 'fair' otherwise. I thought it a little odd that someone who stole from people who had never done her any harm even carried the word 'fair' in their vocabulary.

We had the noon meal in the midst of ear-deafening shouts; some of the robbers were already drunk. Pistols went off, but they were poorly aimed and not meant, I assume, to actually hit anything. The meal itself was sticky rice and I didn't care for it. Emmeline seemed to like it, though, and I swallowed down six goopy spoonfuls for the sake of keeping on her good side. All the while, struggling not to gag, I wondered how I would persuade her to let me go find Kay. When would my chance come?

It didn't seem as likely as I'd hoped. All she wanted to talk about was robbing or else playing; she wasn't interested at all, I don't think, in where I came from. She did ask once if I was a princess-because of the silver carriage and the pretty dress and all that-but when I said no, I was not, she lost interest and started prattling on about something else altogether.

I thought of the prince, princess, and the crows; and of my grandmother and my parents, and even of the old woman who had banished the roses from her garden in hopes of keeping me. What would any of them say if they knew where I was right then at that very moment? What would they think of Emmeline? For, spoiled and unethical though she was, there was something still endearing about her personality. I couldn't hate her. Her mother, maybe; she did frighten me so, and I never forgot how she'd intended to eat me. I never could stand the idea of cannibals. I wondered if Emmeline had ever eaten human flesh, in the end deciding to tell myself she hadn't and vowing to never ask.

Then at long last, when I thought I could stand waiting no longer, my chance arrived.

Emmeline, tired from running around all day, sat down on her favorite cushion, bade me to sit across from her, and said, "You tell me a story."

And so I did, as always, what she asked of me. I told her the story of a little girl, very like myself, who had a friend named Kay who she loved above all others.

When I got to the part about how he was lost, she said, "I think the Snow Queen's the one who a-took 'im."

"I want to rescue him," I told her.

She bit her lower lip, squinted her eyes, and looked both ways very quickly. "Wait until the robbers go out and mother is sleeping-she likes to take a nap in the early evening-then I will see about doing something for you."

Did she really mean it? My eyes brimmed over with tears and I felt the urge to hug her.

"Don't cry now," she hissed at me. "You ought to be glad, I'm going to let you go find your little friend, since it's what you want. I'm being very generous; think of the sacrifice I'm making, leaving myself all alone without a playmate!"

I restrained myself and thanked her as formally as the princess herself would have thanked someone. This pacified Emmeline's pompous side, and she smiled contentedly, glad to be part of my story.

**AN: Okay considering I haven't updated this in so long, I feel really stupid out-right ASKING for reviews here, since I know I don't deserve them, probably, so I'll just say that if you are feeling very, very generous and would like to tell me what you thought of the new chapter, I would be quite thankful. **


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